The Greatest Stories are the Ones Left Untold
Blast-Off, a transformer with a name similar to "Blaster"
As fate would have it, these self same "Blaster"s were now apparently turning up in canadian retail outlets called "Winners" and "HomeSense". How and why was not important, but acquiring a Blaster was everything. Fortunately, there is a Winners store just a short jaunt from very own home. Unfortunately, they never get any of the good stuff, Blasters included. So that's pretty much where the story of how I didn't get Blaster comes to it's conclusion.
Because the rest of this is the story of how I got a Blaster! I was cruising around cybertron.ca again, when I come across a report by some some silly vancouverainian who'd just been to my very own town and listed all the neat things he saw while touring our toy stores. Most important among his discoveries was that he'd found a Blaster at HomeSense! Imagine my surprise to discover this city has a HomeSense! I was even more surprised to find out that it is right next to Wal-Mart, which I've been to many times. The have one of the most important toy sections in the area after all, and I can even remember going there and... Ah, perhaps some other time.
After reading this finding, I immediately lept from my bed and into my socks. After leaping into my socks, I immediately said "You'll never make it before closing time besides it's probably going to rain and it's so cozy in here". So I slipped back under the covers, vowing to head over to HomeSense first thing in the morning. For once, I was true to my word and HomeSense received an early caller that day. Actually, there were a bunch of even earlier callers, even though they'd been open for only ten minutes. I guess some people really like that place.
Finding the toy section, such as it was, and wandered around, and around, and around, the same twelve foot section over, and over, and over again, without finding my precious plastic friend. Concerned but undaunted, I circled ever wider, until I was wandering around the whole store, fruitlessly, before returning - okay fuck it. No point in trying to build suspense when I already full out admitted to getting one. So here's what I was so determined to keep from the children:
. It comes in this slipcase that is huge, orange, shiny, and has nothing on it but an autobot symbol with only the words "AUTOBOT BLASTER" written on it, and still I went past it ten times without seeing it. On the inside there's this:
Which is the sort of traditonal transformer packaging which I had trained my eyes to look for, and why the slipcase never registered.
Here's the desired fellow with his included compatriots, Steeljaw the lion scout, Ramhorn the surly Rhino, and Eject, the autobot sports enthusiast. They all turn into this:
I just noticed the watermark in those pictures and, after looking everywhere in the box, I didn't find one. I might have gotten ripped off. But now that I have Blaster and his friends, I can confidently say that Blaster is pretty lame. Keep in mind that this is the original version, from 1985 or so, so he's pretty limited in every conceivable way by today's standards. Also, even as a kid, I never really liked Blaster as a character or ever really wanted his toy. I was even fully aware that I didn't really want Blaster, even as I desperately searched for him, and it didn't disuade me in the slightest. It only cost twenty bucks so it's no big deal.
The little tape guys are pretty cool, however. I like Steeljaw the best. I even like Eject, but only because he is characterized as the autobot who likes sports, which means the other autobots don't like sports. That's why I want to be an autobot. So, when this guy turns up and starts going "How 'bout that game last night", instead of just me not knowing what he's talking about, nobody knows. That's the kind of environment I could be comfortable in.
That's basically all I've got for that. See you in another three years.