Doob LaVey

A clever combination referencing three of my favorite things: Marijuana, The Church of Satan, and the french alphabet.

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Location: Kelowna, British Columbia, Canada

Long story, but briefly: I once saved a town from Dractyl, the vampiric pterodactyl.

Saturday, July 14, 2007

What YOU Need To Know, AFTER The Fact You Needed To Know It

I know what you're thinking: Where?

Where is the comprehensive and detailed review of the most significant achievement in human history ie. The Transformers movie?

Well, it's taken me a while to articulate my thoughts in such a manner as to accurately convey my thoughts and feelings on the whole experience, and I think it can best be summed up in this manner.

Even before I saw the movie, I wanted for this to be the experience of a lifetime. I imagined that, to maximize my enjoyment, while watching the movie, I should also be simultaneously getting a blow job and and eating a piping hot Pilsbury toaster strudel.

Well, let me tell you now that I didn't miss the strudel one bit, because the movie is a blow job. From God.

That's right, God sucked my dick for two and a half hours and it was sheer ecstacy.

I really don't know what else to say. I would have preferred that the movie had been about three years long (or however long we'll have to wait until the sequel), but that's my only complaint.

Out of four stars, I give it infinity plus one stars.

Now you know.

7 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sounds pretty good. I'll have to check it out. Should I bring some Kleenex, or did He swallow?

9:23 AM  
Blogger Shazamike said...

i'll have what he is having

1:56 AM  
Blogger Jamie S. Luxton III said...

Oh, He swallows alright. When He does a thing, He does it right, I tells ya.

5:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

infinity plus one is all you're gonna give it?

6:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

a blowjob from god is waaaay better than a rimjob from satan....forked tongue and all....hey i think we have a new movie rating system here!!!

10:01 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's fantastic that you liked it! It would be a dark day if the Transformer blew, (lol) and even worse yet if the Transformer blew you! (imagine the chaffing). Seriously, you should get yourself checked out. A lot of prisoners seem far too blissed out when they find god.


PS. Did he tickle your balls?

9:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

yo! runnin off at the mouth again cracker ass motherfucker? you still havend learned your lesson bitch! I aim ta stomp a mud hole in yo ass!

10:01 AM  

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