Doob LaVey

A clever combination referencing three of my favorite things: Marijuana, The Church of Satan, and the french alphabet.

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Location: Kelowna, British Columbia, Canada

Long story, but briefly: I once saved a town from Dractyl, the vampiric pterodactyl.

Friday, August 19, 2005

Love of the Month

I do not condone shoplifting. I do not encourage shoplifting. That being said, I will admit to having practiced and enjoyed the art of shoplifting. I have done so many times in the past, and in my time, absconded with 1000s of dollars worth of merchandise, much to the chagrin of many a merchant.

I would have told you that I was merely filling my need for things; Things I could not afford or simply chose to not pay for. But what I did not realise, and in fact, could not realise, was that the void in my life that needed to be filled was not a hole that could be filled by any amount of material possessions. It was a hole that had torn straight through my heart and piereced my soul. It was a hole that could only be filled... with love.

Which brings us to the subject of this month's "Love of the Month"... Winona Ryder.

Some three years ago, Ms. Ryder was apprehended as she exited a Beverly Hills store with some thousands of dollars worth of clothing, none of which she'd paid for. She just put them in her bags and attempted to walk out. Now, she is again accused of having left a store with boots and a belt unpaid for.

Although these shoplifting attempts failed, it was most certainly daring and brash. We must admire her for her boldness, if not her technique. Most importantly, we must recognize them as a cry for help. A cry for Love.

Well, I'm writing this to say I hear your cry, Winona. I've been there a thousand times and I know about the loneliness and the pain. I also know how much it helps just to know that there is someone who cares.

I pray that my words here are brought to your attention, Winona. I pray that it's not too late and that you realise that you don't have to give in to those terrible urges or lie awake at night, too afraid of the nightmares to sleep. You don't have to be alone anymore. I know you might not believe me because it sounds too good to be true, but you'll just have to trust me on this one.

I said I know how much it helps to know that somebody cares. It's true. And you know what else is true?

I care.

I care because I love you, Winona. Let me be your guide.

Love,

Jamie Luxton III

5 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think I can help you out with this one.

11:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

she's mine!!! why don't you just go after your sister? leave Winona Ryder for me.

12:02 AM  
Blogger Jamie S. Luxton III said...

Shazamike - Finally! Someone who understands me!

Sealclubbersteve - Don't try to cramp my style. My love was MEANT to be shared.

9:19 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

An old wise man once said that love is a battlefield. I didn't realize that that battlefield was in Beverly Hills

11:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mr. Lassard.
I believe the "old wise man" you refer to is actually a woman by the name of Pat Benetar. She's a heartbreaker, and most likely pretty flaky. Although she was probably as wise as Soloman himself.

3:37 AM  

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