A Go To Adventure
Hey, everybody. I bet you're all wondering what happened at Old Man Guptar's on Hallowe'en night. I kind of left it as a cliffhanger. So here it is... the exciting conclusion of The Morning After!
A Couple of Days After the Morning After - A Go To Adventure
1
It would take words far beyond your linguistic capacity to accurately express the oppressive dread you feel as you stand before the palpable evil radiating from the house before you. It's only too clear to you now why one does not tread upon the property of Old Man Guptar lightly! You wouldn't be the first person to have made it their last mistake. You start to wonder just how many others had stood there as you stood and felt as you felt. The mailman, surely; Some Jehovah's Witnesses, perhaps; Maybe even some birds, or a stray cat?
Five minutes of just standing there goes by. You idley speculate that you may have become paralysed, but in your heart you know you are just stalling. Overcoming your trepidation, you face the fact that you have a job to do. You have to break into this house. You see two possible points of entry: a door and a window, both an equal distance from where you stand.
If you make your way to the window in a stealthy fashion, go to "4".
If you quickly head over to the door and see what happens, go to "6".
2
All the objects are equally strange and foreign to you eyes in this dim light. Picking one at random, You slip it into the pocket of your jacket. Suddenly, inexplicably afraid, you creep back out the window and don't stop running until you're putting your keys in your door. Safely inside, you examine the object under 60 watt light, but no secrets are yielded to you. Frustrated, you take to your bed. Sleep does not come easily or quickly,but eventually it does come. In the morning, after troubled dreams of eldritch horrors and cyclopean monoliths, you head on down to the local pawn shop with your new prize. The old man behind the counter examines your ill gotten gain with much thoroughness and care. "Ah, yes. Incan perpetual motion machine.Very rare." He says. "I'll give you $50."
Sold! Unfortunately, this is the bad part of town, so as soon as you step outside a drug dealer approaches you, trying to sell you crack. Always interested in trying new things, you give him your $50 and he hands you a small bit of folded paper, inside which is your 50 rock of crack (Actually you get ripped off and what you have is a lean 20 rock at best, but you're new at this so you'll never know). So you get home and within an hour you've smoked all your crack. Admittedly, you did get pretty fucked up, but now you have nothing and want more. Really, really, want more. As the weeks and months go by, you dimly perceive the loss of all your possessions and the alienation of your friends and family, though it doesn't really matter to you. It is only when you wake up one day and you are falling as the garbage truck empties the dumpster you were sleeping in, that you finally understand you've hit rock bottom. You laugh because "rock" makes you think of crack, and then the trucks' crushing machinery comes to life and you think of nothing ever again. For you, ya fuckin' crackhead... This adventure is over.
3
You turn away from the promise of danger in the deeps and tippy toe over to the rooms' only other door. You crouch next to the doorframe and slowly peek out into the hall. Your eyes adjust easily, as even in the hall the light is dim. Ordinarily, you'd have guessed that candlelight was the source of the illumination, except for the total absence of candles in the hallway. Strangely, there also appears to be no lanterns or light fixtures in the hall, functional or otherwise. You find the presence of light without an explanitory source to be unusually unsettling. You wonder if it's possible for walls to be giving off a luminescent glow. But then you chastise yourself for becoming distracted and lost in your thoughts about the lights. You are invading Old Man Guptar's home, and you need to be alert with your wits about you if you plan to leave here alive. Suddenly, you detect the sound of quiet voices. You freeze, listening over the sound of your own blood pumping. The voices sound angry, like arguing, though you can't make out the words. A bout of quiet laughter suddenly erupts, and the arguing resumes. After a few minutes, when you're sure the voices aren't coming any closer, and you take your first cautious step into the hall. There are no other doorways, so you have no choice but to head down to the far end... towards those voices.
Reaching the far end, you peek into the next room, and are relieved to discover that those noises were being emitted, not from people, but from an old television set. You find it's incongruous presence oddly conforting in this otherwise unnatural place. As you prepare to inspect this new room, your eyes are drawn to the screen and you realise that Family Ties is on. Compelled forward, you take up residence in the chair in front of the T.V. Oh, Alex! Is there anything you won't do for a buck? For one half hour... this adventure is over.
4
Cautiously, quietly, you creep across the yard towards the window, knowing that the darkness that conceals you from others could just as easily be concealing others from you. Your stealthiness pays off, though, as you make it to the window without incident, save one loud fart that rings out as you crouch beneathe it. For long, breathless moments you remain still. Finally,when you are confident that your indiscretion has gone undetected, you turn and peer into the window. Through a small corner not covered by the curtains, you see that the room beyond is dark, though a sliver of flickering light eminates from the hall beyond. The window itseld appears to not be secured in any fashion and opens easily with the rough sound of wood on wood. When it is open enough for you to slip through, you crawl inside. Standing, you take your first look at the interior of Old Man Guptar's.
Illuminated only by the light from the hall, you can still see the room is a cluttered mess of dusty crates and boxes. Lining the wall are a series of shelves of a quality that suggests they were the work of an apprentice or student for hire. On these shelves are many strange and arcane objects or devices of inscrutable purpose and unknown origin.
If you pick up an object and examine it, go to "7".
If you pocket one of these objects, go to "2".
5
Gingerly, you inch forward into the pitch black stairwell, one step at a time. Your vision is of no aid in your descent; There is nothing to see but absolute darkness and those squigglies that float around on your eyes. As you head further into the depths, the steps become wet and slippery, so it's extra precarious. After what seems an eternity, you begin to perceive shades of grey, rather than just the blackness of before. A light source must be nearby. Another few moments and the stairs abruptly end at another triangular doorway. Stepping through, a hellish vision awaits you.
A ghostly moon casts a gloomy light on a terrible, impossible landscape stretching out before you. Clay earth of the colour of corpses churns and twists like unwholesome life burrows below, pools of water pulsate upwards and downwards like the hard breathing of a creature run to death. Voluminous steam issues noisily forth from cracks in the surface. A grey sea in the distance foams and claws at the land. Above it all, atop a flying carpet, his beard distinguished and his turban bejeweled, was Old Man Guptar. In that moment, you realise his terrible secret. Old Man Guptar is, in fact, none other than the Swami Abbajay Gutra.
His eyes open and his mouth twists into a terrible sneer as he sees you. The clay earth shudders and quivers violently, and the grey sea becomes a maelstrom of of elemental fury, rising up and crashing down and splitting the clay landscape in twain. The surging grey waters are already half way to you before you can move. You turn and you run and you run and you run, the sounds of dead waters crashing at your heels, threatening to swallow you up forever, growing ever louder. Tears form in your eyes as you fall on the steps again and again, every miststep is a costly delay you cannot afford. It seems hopeless.
But then the top of the stairs appear, and beyond that the room of antiquities you left seemingly ages ago. You stop for none of this. At full speed, you dive out the window and continue down the street, never looking back.
Go to "8".
6
Well, as it turns out, nothing happens at all. After a half assed attempt to turn the knob and push on the door, you convince yourself that the place is sealed up tight and someone would have called the cops anyway. You'll come back and investigate further some other time... probably in the daytime. Pussy. For today, however... this adventure is over.
7
All the objects seem equally strange and foreign to your eyes in this dim light. Picking one at random, you hold it close to your eyes, hoping for some detail or purpose to be revealed. As you run your hands over the irregularly shaped object, your fingertip catches on a small depression with an audible click. You spin around as you hear a "whoosh" behind you. Where there was once only the featureless grey of the far wall, now there was a featureless grey wall with a big black triangle on it. Curious, you approach. As you draw closer, you discover that the black triangle is actually an opening in the wall, large enough to allow the easy passage of any man, though a bit of a tight squeeze for a bear or something of that nature. But whatever was beyond that your eyes could not tell; the darkness did not permit it. Having uncovered a secret door, though, you feel compelled to explore where it leads. Cautiously feeling forward with hands and feet, you quickly ascertain that a stairwell lies beyond, leading into unknown depths and untold dangers.
If you take the stairs to see what lies beneathe, go to "5".
If you turn back and go out into the hall, go to "3".
8
You arrive at your doorstep and wonder if you've run far enough. How can anyone get far way enough from terrible sights you've witnessed? And the Swami himself saw you as well. There can be little doubt he'll come looking for tonight's unwelcomed visitor. Sleep will not come easily tonight. You lie awake in bed, wondering how much longer until your prostitute roommate gets home. Maybe she'll help you relieve some of your tension. Yeah... right. Like that'll ever happen.
At least this adventure is over... For now.
A Couple of Days After the Morning After - A Go To Adventure
1
It would take words far beyond your linguistic capacity to accurately express the oppressive dread you feel as you stand before the palpable evil radiating from the house before you. It's only too clear to you now why one does not tread upon the property of Old Man Guptar lightly! You wouldn't be the first person to have made it their last mistake. You start to wonder just how many others had stood there as you stood and felt as you felt. The mailman, surely; Some Jehovah's Witnesses, perhaps; Maybe even some birds, or a stray cat?
Five minutes of just standing there goes by. You idley speculate that you may have become paralysed, but in your heart you know you are just stalling. Overcoming your trepidation, you face the fact that you have a job to do. You have to break into this house. You see two possible points of entry: a door and a window, both an equal distance from where you stand.
If you make your way to the window in a stealthy fashion, go to "4".
If you quickly head over to the door and see what happens, go to "6".
2
All the objects are equally strange and foreign to you eyes in this dim light. Picking one at random, You slip it into the pocket of your jacket. Suddenly, inexplicably afraid, you creep back out the window and don't stop running until you're putting your keys in your door. Safely inside, you examine the object under 60 watt light, but no secrets are yielded to you. Frustrated, you take to your bed. Sleep does not come easily or quickly,but eventually it does come. In the morning, after troubled dreams of eldritch horrors and cyclopean monoliths, you head on down to the local pawn shop with your new prize. The old man behind the counter examines your ill gotten gain with much thoroughness and care. "Ah, yes. Incan perpetual motion machine.Very rare." He says. "I'll give you $50."
Sold! Unfortunately, this is the bad part of town, so as soon as you step outside a drug dealer approaches you, trying to sell you crack. Always interested in trying new things, you give him your $50 and he hands you a small bit of folded paper, inside which is your 50 rock of crack (Actually you get ripped off and what you have is a lean 20 rock at best, but you're new at this so you'll never know). So you get home and within an hour you've smoked all your crack. Admittedly, you did get pretty fucked up, but now you have nothing and want more. Really, really, want more. As the weeks and months go by, you dimly perceive the loss of all your possessions and the alienation of your friends and family, though it doesn't really matter to you. It is only when you wake up one day and you are falling as the garbage truck empties the dumpster you were sleeping in, that you finally understand you've hit rock bottom. You laugh because "rock" makes you think of crack, and then the trucks' crushing machinery comes to life and you think of nothing ever again. For you, ya fuckin' crackhead... This adventure is over.
3
You turn away from the promise of danger in the deeps and tippy toe over to the rooms' only other door. You crouch next to the doorframe and slowly peek out into the hall. Your eyes adjust easily, as even in the hall the light is dim. Ordinarily, you'd have guessed that candlelight was the source of the illumination, except for the total absence of candles in the hallway. Strangely, there also appears to be no lanterns or light fixtures in the hall, functional or otherwise. You find the presence of light without an explanitory source to be unusually unsettling. You wonder if it's possible for walls to be giving off a luminescent glow. But then you chastise yourself for becoming distracted and lost in your thoughts about the lights. You are invading Old Man Guptar's home, and you need to be alert with your wits about you if you plan to leave here alive. Suddenly, you detect the sound of quiet voices. You freeze, listening over the sound of your own blood pumping. The voices sound angry, like arguing, though you can't make out the words. A bout of quiet laughter suddenly erupts, and the arguing resumes. After a few minutes, when you're sure the voices aren't coming any closer, and you take your first cautious step into the hall. There are no other doorways, so you have no choice but to head down to the far end... towards those voices.
Reaching the far end, you peek into the next room, and are relieved to discover that those noises were being emitted, not from people, but from an old television set. You find it's incongruous presence oddly conforting in this otherwise unnatural place. As you prepare to inspect this new room, your eyes are drawn to the screen and you realise that Family Ties is on. Compelled forward, you take up residence in the chair in front of the T.V. Oh, Alex! Is there anything you won't do for a buck? For one half hour... this adventure is over.
4
Cautiously, quietly, you creep across the yard towards the window, knowing that the darkness that conceals you from others could just as easily be concealing others from you. Your stealthiness pays off, though, as you make it to the window without incident, save one loud fart that rings out as you crouch beneathe it. For long, breathless moments you remain still. Finally,when you are confident that your indiscretion has gone undetected, you turn and peer into the window. Through a small corner not covered by the curtains, you see that the room beyond is dark, though a sliver of flickering light eminates from the hall beyond. The window itseld appears to not be secured in any fashion and opens easily with the rough sound of wood on wood. When it is open enough for you to slip through, you crawl inside. Standing, you take your first look at the interior of Old Man Guptar's.
Illuminated only by the light from the hall, you can still see the room is a cluttered mess of dusty crates and boxes. Lining the wall are a series of shelves of a quality that suggests they were the work of an apprentice or student for hire. On these shelves are many strange and arcane objects or devices of inscrutable purpose and unknown origin.
If you pick up an object and examine it, go to "7".
If you pocket one of these objects, go to "2".
5
Gingerly, you inch forward into the pitch black stairwell, one step at a time. Your vision is of no aid in your descent; There is nothing to see but absolute darkness and those squigglies that float around on your eyes. As you head further into the depths, the steps become wet and slippery, so it's extra precarious. After what seems an eternity, you begin to perceive shades of grey, rather than just the blackness of before. A light source must be nearby. Another few moments and the stairs abruptly end at another triangular doorway. Stepping through, a hellish vision awaits you.
A ghostly moon casts a gloomy light on a terrible, impossible landscape stretching out before you. Clay earth of the colour of corpses churns and twists like unwholesome life burrows below, pools of water pulsate upwards and downwards like the hard breathing of a creature run to death. Voluminous steam issues noisily forth from cracks in the surface. A grey sea in the distance foams and claws at the land. Above it all, atop a flying carpet, his beard distinguished and his turban bejeweled, was Old Man Guptar. In that moment, you realise his terrible secret. Old Man Guptar is, in fact, none other than the Swami Abbajay Gutra.
His eyes open and his mouth twists into a terrible sneer as he sees you. The clay earth shudders and quivers violently, and the grey sea becomes a maelstrom of of elemental fury, rising up and crashing down and splitting the clay landscape in twain. The surging grey waters are already half way to you before you can move. You turn and you run and you run and you run, the sounds of dead waters crashing at your heels, threatening to swallow you up forever, growing ever louder. Tears form in your eyes as you fall on the steps again and again, every miststep is a costly delay you cannot afford. It seems hopeless.
But then the top of the stairs appear, and beyond that the room of antiquities you left seemingly ages ago. You stop for none of this. At full speed, you dive out the window and continue down the street, never looking back.
Go to "8".
6
Well, as it turns out, nothing happens at all. After a half assed attempt to turn the knob and push on the door, you convince yourself that the place is sealed up tight and someone would have called the cops anyway. You'll come back and investigate further some other time... probably in the daytime. Pussy. For today, however... this adventure is over.
7
All the objects seem equally strange and foreign to your eyes in this dim light. Picking one at random, you hold it close to your eyes, hoping for some detail or purpose to be revealed. As you run your hands over the irregularly shaped object, your fingertip catches on a small depression with an audible click. You spin around as you hear a "whoosh" behind you. Where there was once only the featureless grey of the far wall, now there was a featureless grey wall with a big black triangle on it. Curious, you approach. As you draw closer, you discover that the black triangle is actually an opening in the wall, large enough to allow the easy passage of any man, though a bit of a tight squeeze for a bear or something of that nature. But whatever was beyond that your eyes could not tell; the darkness did not permit it. Having uncovered a secret door, though, you feel compelled to explore where it leads. Cautiously feeling forward with hands and feet, you quickly ascertain that a stairwell lies beyond, leading into unknown depths and untold dangers.
If you take the stairs to see what lies beneathe, go to "5".
If you turn back and go out into the hall, go to "3".
8
You arrive at your doorstep and wonder if you've run far enough. How can anyone get far way enough from terrible sights you've witnessed? And the Swami himself saw you as well. There can be little doubt he'll come looking for tonight's unwelcomed visitor. Sleep will not come easily tonight. You lie awake in bed, wondering how much longer until your prostitute roommate gets home. Maybe she'll help you relieve some of your tension. Yeah... right. Like that'll ever happen.
At least this adventure is over... For now.
posted by Jamie S. Luxton III | 4:24 PM
10 Comments:
Darn it, I'm always getting mauled by the tiger that was hiding in the closet.
Interesting stuff!
http://nydate.blogspot.com
That's the nicest thing anybody's said to me all day. And I've talked to a lot of people, let me assure you!
I bet somehow my inbox gets cluttered with mail from those "anonymous" snake oil salesmen.
You Suck! That was terrible! Fuck off!
Psst! Sealclubber! They don't call them tigers anymore. They're called homosexuals now.
What ever happened to "Choose Your Own Adventure" Books?? Do they even write them anymore??
Next time I'm in your parts, I'll be bringing some herbalists along. We shall partake no?
Keep writin' dood. Lovin' the work.
Hey incognitojoe, I'm not sure Jamie Luxton is all that interested in having you "in his parts" if you follow my meaning. Perhaps you should just join sealclubbersteve who likes to play with "tigers" in his closet, if you catch my drift.
Umm, Ahhh, Not quite.
But hey, thanks for the thoughts!
BOOM!! BADABOOM!! RAT-A-TAT-TAT!!
BOOM!! BANG!! POW!! BOOM!!
Damn! I keep getting lost when it tells me to turn to the October page and find Jesus next to the penis pumps. (I found them, I just don't know what to do with the two)
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