Madness and Such

You don't understand what kind of pressure I'm under. This blog was not meant to be merely just another blog. I'm trying to pioneer an artform here. And in all fairness, my efforts have been well rewarded by your enthusiastic appreciation.

Unfortunately, in order to maintain this appreciation it is almost an inevitability that I'll be forced to meet ever increasing expectations. And to meet these expectations, I am forced to go to ever greater extremes. It seems that some of you expect this blog to read like a transcript of a Jackass episode. I can tell you now that will not be happening anytime soon.

You see, earlier this week, having hit a dry spell of things to tell you about, I went out into the city in search of adventure for the purposes of reporting here. Instead of adventure, what I discovered was a 200 pound junkie who nearly sodomized me with a 1o inch knife. Luckily, he was startled by some passersby just then and he only robbed me and stabbed me in the stomach.

Well, a four day hospital stay and 56 stitches later, I'm back to report my experiences to my loyal audience. It doesn't quite seem worth it somehow. I hope you won't be disappointed in the words you find here in the future, I hope that you continue to come listen to my tales. I hope I haven't depressed you all. Go ahead and laugh at the absurdity of it all. Indeed, the burden of laughter is squarely apon you, for I cannot afford to laugh at all. There's a real chance of me disembowling myself if I do.