Nihilism Usurps My Purpose

Well, it's early Moday morning, and I've just finished a hearty breakfast of raisin bran crunch, toast, orange juice, and coffee. I'm going to need my energy today, since I've got to go out and find out if I get to keep my job or not. I only wish I'd gotten a good night's rest. But the fact is that such a thing was made impossible, thanks to a chance encounter in the darkened hours.

Late last night, I was frequenting my favorite local coffee shop, minding my own business. Actually, I was hard at work on the crossword puzzle in the newspaper, which an earlier, inconsiderate patron had already filled in in ink. Even though I had immediately scribbled out all the answers, the puzzle was still not half the challenge I'd hoped it to be.

Frustrated, I gazed about the coffee shop, discreetly observing the few other customers. All the stereotypes were present of course: The old hobo, the college boy, the beatnik, the gossiping housewives, the unattended infant. As I glanced from face to face, each one failed to notice me, especially the unattended infant. Which is just as well, since babies make me uncomfortable anyway. I mean, they look like people (sort of), and behave like animals. That's creepy!

As my head turned towards it's leftmost limit, my eyes were suprised to discover that one patron had heretofore escaped my notice. Therewas something vaguely sinister about the man. Perhaps it was his red skin and devil horns.LOL! just kidding. He was dressed in all black, and somewhat disconcertingly, he was wearing a beret. Even more disconcerting, as I looked apon him, he was staring right back at me.

A sudden crash signalled the event of a ceramic coffe cup being introduced to the linoleum floor... the hard way. A sudden wail went up from the infant, a primordial "waaahhh" that said to all in earshot "The experiences of that coffee cup, all the lips it's touched, all the coffee it's tasted, all the conversations it's heard, all the faces it's seen, all that means nothing now!" It was a wail that spoke to the truth of the human condition.

I was momentarily stunned by this oddly pessimistic thought. This didn't jive with my normally upbeat attitude. And yet, it was suddenly clear that a fundamental truth had been revealed to me. I saw now that when we die, all our accomplishments, so cherished in life, are equivalent to nothing in the face of death. And if it is true that accomplishment is the measure of a life's worth, and accomplishment is valueless, then life itself must also be similarly meaningless. Silently, I both praised and cursed the infant for the gift of this insight. Maybe now you see why I don't like them.

All this occured in a fraction of a second, and I was roused from my idle reverie by the hurried form of an employee, anxious to erase the evidence of the cup's demise with her dustpan and mop. As my neck returned to it's neutral position, Iwas startled yet again to find the vaguely sinister man standing silently over me. Somehow he had made his way from his table to mine without sound and in an impossibly small amount of time. He stared down at me with that same expressionless gaze as before. His skin was grey and his eyes were dull, like he was dead inside. But then I quickly thought, Aren't we all? The corner of his mouth twitched upwards into a configuration indicating the vaguest of bemusements.

"Are you done with that?" He said in a silly voice, air whistling through the gap in his teeth. I looked where his outstretched index finger was pointing, and realized he was indicating the crossword puzzle.

I looked back up into his eyes with an expression of expressionless that I hoped would rival his own. In an unhurried fashion, I stood from my seat and put on my coat. I made as if to silently brush past him, but at the last moment stopped short and glared into his eyes once more. I thought I detected something in his gaze that hadn't been there before. A meager trace of emotion, perhaps? I smelled blood and went in for the kill.

"What difference does it make?" I cooly said.

I walked out without looking back.

Reading this now as I write, I realise how needlessly I've been worrying about my continued employment. Fortunately, now, I also realise "What difference does it make?"

I think I'll go back to bed. See ya.