One Man Makes a Difference
"I believe there must be intelligent life on other planets, because there sure isn't any here."
Everytime you eat a half bag of cheese popcorn, you have made a difference. Everytime you shuffle a deck of cards, you have made a difference. Not an important difference, mind you. If you're looking to make a recognizable impact on the world, then yes, you are probably wasting your time. But that doesn't stop some people from trying. When your cause is important, you shouldn't let the improbability of success stand in your way at all. This guy didn't.
http://www.prweb.com/releases/2005/11/prweb314382.htm
Instantly, one response springs to mind; Crackpot. To thee, I say nay.
Intergalactic warfare is one of the great unknowns that confront humanity today. As if regular war wasn't bad enough! LOL! But when faced with an enemy who's very existence is in doubt, how can we know anything about their militaristic capabilities? Let me propose some likelihoods:
Spaceships: If aliens are here, they probably have transportation.
Guns: A catchall term to represent various ranged weaponry which form the basis for most large scale aggression these days.
Alien Physiology: Aliens are aliens.
Bio-Rythym Detection: Aliens can detect your Bio-Rythyms.
Pretty ominous, isn't it? When thought about like this, some current alien behaviors suddenly seem decidedly sinister. For example:
Cattle Mutilation: Preemptive strike on our food supply. The starving are in no condition to do battle. It will be much easier for aliens to take over the world if they only have to fight India.
Anal Probing: Psychological warfare. Who wants to make enemies with someone who sticks things in the bum of his foes? Effective even against the Indians of the East.
Crop Circles: Probably a misguided attempt to communicate the futility of materialistic desire and that a life empty of love for others is a life empty of love from others. That is the sort of higher philosophy that I , for one, expect a more advanced society would wish to empart.
As we all know, the US of A will start a war with just about anybody for just about any old reason at all. They don't care. Are they really going to want to be friends with lumps of tentacles, or lisping floating brains, or clumsy, over eager to please, duck-faced frogmen? Think about it.
It's really too bad that Mr. Heller here didn't speak up way back when he was a current goverment official, rathering than waiting until now. Many will dismiss this action as one last grab at the spotlight before he rides off into the sunset, real permanent like. It doesn't help that most people like this are senile old coots, either. I can't say for sure if he's senile or not; I haven't spoken with his physician just yet. Looks like he's got the "old coot" part down just fine, however.
But we can see how people aren't taking his statements seriously. The senate claims it is too busy to hold hearings on aliens. What's on their agenda that could be more important than the fate of all mankind?
I bet they're too busy eating cheese popcorn and shuffling cards.
Some Guy, paraphrased
Some people refuse to believe that one person can make a difference. The world is so large, they say, so populated, that all my efforts will go unnoticed and unappreciated. Hogwash.
Everytime you eat a half bag of cheese popcorn, you have made a difference. Everytime you shuffle a deck of cards, you have made a difference. Not an important difference, mind you. If you're looking to make a recognizable impact on the world, then yes, you are probably wasting your time. But that doesn't stop some people from trying. When your cause is important, you shouldn't let the improbability of success stand in your way at all. This guy didn't.
http://www.prweb.com/releases/2005/11/prweb314382.htm
Instantly, one response springs to mind; Crackpot. To thee, I say nay.
Intergalactic warfare is one of the great unknowns that confront humanity today. As if regular war wasn't bad enough! LOL! But when faced with an enemy who's very existence is in doubt, how can we know anything about their militaristic capabilities? Let me propose some likelihoods:
Spaceships: If aliens are here, they probably have transportation.
Guns: A catchall term to represent various ranged weaponry which form the basis for most large scale aggression these days.
Alien Physiology: Aliens are aliens.
Bio-Rythym Detection: Aliens can detect your Bio-Rythyms.
Pretty ominous, isn't it? When thought about like this, some current alien behaviors suddenly seem decidedly sinister. For example:
Cattle Mutilation: Preemptive strike on our food supply. The starving are in no condition to do battle. It will be much easier for aliens to take over the world if they only have to fight India.
Anal Probing: Psychological warfare. Who wants to make enemies with someone who sticks things in the bum of his foes? Effective even against the Indians of the East.
Crop Circles: Probably a misguided attempt to communicate the futility of materialistic desire and that a life empty of love for others is a life empty of love from others. That is the sort of higher philosophy that I , for one, expect a more advanced society would wish to empart.
As we all know, the US of A will start a war with just about anybody for just about any old reason at all. They don't care. Are they really going to want to be friends with lumps of tentacles, or lisping floating brains, or clumsy, over eager to please, duck-faced frogmen? Think about it.
It's really too bad that Mr. Heller here didn't speak up way back when he was a current goverment official, rathering than waiting until now. Many will dismiss this action as one last grab at the spotlight before he rides off into the sunset, real permanent like. It doesn't help that most people like this are senile old coots, either. I can't say for sure if he's senile or not; I haven't spoken with his physician just yet. Looks like he's got the "old coot" part down just fine, however.
But we can see how people aren't taking his statements seriously. The senate claims it is too busy to hold hearings on aliens. What's on their agenda that could be more important than the fate of all mankind?
I bet they're too busy eating cheese popcorn and shuffling cards.
posted by Jamie S. Luxton III | 5:14 AM
5 Comments:
Fucking senate. That's why I write to my congressman instead.
Please don't give George Bush any more crazy ideas.
Thanks very much for you opinions and enlightening us to the potential fate of the planet. I wonder if your writings on what to do in case of robot invasion would apply to alien invasion? Perhaps you could enlighten us. or are you just content to let us fall into the hands (tentacles, manacles, wings, claws, suction cups, or whatever) of our otherworldly oppressors? Help us o wise Luxton! You're our only hope!
Making a difference nowadays seems to be limited to the high-profile persons who do some charitable work for people other than their own.
Personally I just think the little grey bastards have a pretty damn good sense of humor, and they're playing with us like ants to a magnifying glass.
I once had an uncle who worked for CSIS. He always had stories to tell, but he wasn't allowed to tell them to us. He ended up being pretty boring and I didn't pay much attention to him.
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