Weesa Bein Friends
Hello friends. I am ask we be friends you all nice people. I am known as Joachim Jaeger, I am from Frusenland. My land is strange to you and so are my words. I am apology because my english is something less than exemplary, but be assured than my efforts to improve in this area are determined and time consuming.
I am make friends with Jamie Luxton 3 in produce section when he see that I am nowhere I belong. So I tell him that I know not what I do, or as you say in Canador, I am fucked up the whistle. He is say to me I will take you to my crunch lair and render much assistance apon ye.
I am talking "Much obliged" and it's off to the crunch lair! Inside I am seeing many stange things that my eyeballs do not accept into their hearts.Canador is full of many things that not make the sense to me, but in Frusenland the people are living very different.
Like, when I am but small, the mother is often touching my anushole and say "Poop check" and then, depending what she find, she say "All clear" or "Biohazard!"
The father also used to do the poop check, but only until I am 8. The father searches much deeper with his meater stick and take longer too.
This is our way. But in Canador, if you do the poop check you are cast apon the stones. Oh well.
Also, in Frusenland, rabies is very popular to have because only the village idiot is eligible for social assistance. So it is very common to see man in pit of badgers trying to catch the "bad brain". You know what I am say.
But in Canador, everyone is like village idiot. Must be nice, except you can't find an issue of Corbotard anywhere.
So I am in the crunch lair my eyes are saying thats a naked sleeping girl on that pile of dirty clothes and my own pants are making love tent. So my mouth is saying "Much obliged" but J3 is taking me away from that. He is show to me his computador and his blogo and is saying that it is for the world to look at. So if there being someone to help me, I be finding them this way.
My situation is that I am needing the cashmoney and in the quantity. If you can help I send you my post office box number where you send your cheques and credit cards to. I am desperate to get home or something that costs mucho.
Anyone who helpeth me, their cup shall runneth over with the protein drink of my meat.
God bus you all.
I am make friends with Jamie Luxton 3 in produce section when he see that I am nowhere I belong. So I tell him that I know not what I do, or as you say in Canador, I am fucked up the whistle. He is say to me I will take you to my crunch lair and render much assistance apon ye.
I am talking "Much obliged" and it's off to the crunch lair! Inside I am seeing many stange things that my eyeballs do not accept into their hearts.Canador is full of many things that not make the sense to me, but in Frusenland the people are living very different.
Like, when I am but small, the mother is often touching my anushole and say "Poop check" and then, depending what she find, she say "All clear" or "Biohazard!"
The father also used to do the poop check, but only until I am 8. The father searches much deeper with his meater stick and take longer too.
This is our way. But in Canador, if you do the poop check you are cast apon the stones. Oh well.
Also, in Frusenland, rabies is very popular to have because only the village idiot is eligible for social assistance. So it is very common to see man in pit of badgers trying to catch the "bad brain". You know what I am say.
But in Canador, everyone is like village idiot. Must be nice, except you can't find an issue of Corbotard anywhere.
So I am in the crunch lair my eyes are saying thats a naked sleeping girl on that pile of dirty clothes and my own pants are making love tent. So my mouth is saying "Much obliged" but J3 is taking me away from that. He is show to me his computador and his blogo and is saying that it is for the world to look at. So if there being someone to help me, I be finding them this way.
My situation is that I am needing the cashmoney and in the quantity. If you can help I send you my post office box number where you send your cheques and credit cards to. I am desperate to get home or something that costs mucho.
Anyone who helpeth me, their cup shall runneth over with the protein drink of my meat.
God bus you all.
posted by Jamie S. Luxton III | 5:54 PM
25 Comments:
I'll send you $50 and challenge all other super vehicle drivers to match.
Fuck that. Charity is for the destitute.
Well it's certainly pleasent to make your acquaintance, Joachin! I would love to help you out; unfortunately, all of my money is still converted into puka shells from my recent trip to the South Pacific. A nice fellow outside the bank told me I'd get a better rate of return if I waited until I got back home to exchange them. Obviously, I've been had. I'm sure someone will buy them, though. Now where are those dirty hippies?
I had a recent trip to South Pacific. God I hated it, especially the stupid little finale thing before the interval. I would have loved a pile of Puka shells to throw at the loser actresses.
Try illegal fish-poaching/whaling if you're strapped for cash. We westerners still have so much to learn from our glorious Indonesian overlords...
Hey Jo! Why not just wait until Luxton is sleeping and then steal all of his cool stuff and sell it? O and don't forget to have sex with Jamie's "friend" before you leave the crunch lair.
Welcome to Canador.
What cool stuff does he have besides an omelette pan and a computador? And a live in prostitute. I swear Jamie lives the kookiest life.
bwaaahaaahaaaha ha ha
hey knight! you have a car? i AM the car bitch! $50??? screw you!
Frusenland's atrocities during the 100 years war, the second world war, the Crusades, the Korean war, and the Cuban missle crisis will not be soon forgotten. As far as i'm concerned, you and all your rotten Frusenbuddies can dig a tunnel deep into your own 'anushole' and rot in it. Fucking pigs.
geez Jamie, does this new going-to-work thing really have to impact your blogging? Y'know, it's nice that you're getting out of the house to do something legal and all, but I hope you won't be treating us to a string of "visitors" to do your writing for you. Joachim there, he just isn't the shit like you are, man.
What a talent you have. I am so glad I found your blog!
Sorry everyone. computer is fucked again. I mourn the loss of those new fans, not fully hooked enough to keep checking until my inevitable glorious return.
Hail to the victorious dead!
Man, glad you're not dead. Or at least, really dead. If you're just mostly dead or victoriously dead, please come back! Please. You're killing me. haha.
Oh my god hurry it up! I need weird and you're where I get it.
This beer is getting warm, man.
And warm beer makes me wanna puke.
See how he teases us mercilessly. No mercy. Tease tease tease.
My good Mr. Luxton,
You cannot know how interstred I am in cup of your meat's protein drink.
Don't bother. It's a scam. Never trust a person with a number in their name. Although the fact that your family line has kept the same name intact for nearly ten billion generations relunctantly impresses me.
I resent that, meat sack.
You are lucky you're on my "favorites" list so I come back every day, hoping for news... apparently you're just going to work, coming home and waiting to die like the rest of us.
have faith, kate. ill be back one day.
I don't know J3. You might have to show us the scars to prove it's really you. bwa ha ha ha ha
But oddly enough, people still go to this blog in the hopes a return, instead of ignoring a desperatem, whiny page such as yours, Marshall.
hmmm. Iggy comes out swining and Marshal hides inside. sounds like we have Xavier wuss syndrom to me.
blahhhha this is getting boring.
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