The Future is Now

Well, as promised, here is my unpublished book. Unlike the others, it is not a novel, but rather a helpful guide to surviving in the not too distant future. I was going to do it in parts, but I changed my mind and put it all here at once. I offer this to you as a public service, free of charge. All I ask is, when the time comes, practice what you've learned here. Without further ado, then, here is:


Everything You Need To Know To Protect Yourself From Robot Invasion


Part One: Introduction

Mankind had known adversity in a variety of forms over the eons. Every generation has a particular suffering to claim as its’ own and every individual knows well what role hardship has played in shaping their lives. Humanity has endured and survived war, genocide, disease, shark attacks, and potato famine. But mankind has yet to face adversity in its most terrible, relentless form. I am, of course, referring to the Robot Invasion.

The exact timing of this new menace is both uncertain and inevitable. That’s why it is imperative that each person begin planning for this eventuality at once. No one can say for sure that the beginning of the end won’t occur tomorrow. If it does, only the prepared will have any chance of surviving for any length of time. That’s where this guide comes into play. Inside you will find all practical and helpful tips and hints you need, presented in a simple, easy-to-understand manner that levels the playing field and gives the poor and uneducated a fighting chance in a world where the filthy rich will be trying to monopolize all the survival opportunities. You will find information on how to build a shelter and how to stock it with supplies, basic wilderness survival, and finally a section on the various types of robots who may wish to conduct an invasion. If you have yourself a copy of “Everything You Need To Know To Protect Yourself From Communist Invasion”, many of the ideas and procedures here will seem familiar. But do not be fooled into thinking that by simply substituting “robot” for “communist” in the old volume, you will lead a long and productive life in the New Machine Order (NMO). Communists and robots aren’t necessarily all that similar and no one plan can sufficiently account for all their potential divergences.


Part Two: So the Robots Have Just Invaded

If the above is currently true and you are now reading this, congratulations on surviving the robot’s initial assault! In this regard, no doubt you are part of a very exclusive club. Fortunately (assuming you didn’t just find this handbook amidst the rubble of the blasted urban landscape), you had the foresight to equip yourself with this volume and followed its instructions to prepare for these circumstances. This will give you the edge you need to survive in only relatively mild discomfort during the coming days of steel and fire. In fact, considering your level of preparedness, you may soon find other survivors looking to you for guidance and leadership. There may be a future for you as a Resistance Cell Leader(RCL), Resistance Cell Coordinator Of Local Activities(RCCOLA), or even a full blown Hero Of the Resistance(HOR). More on that later, though. For now, let’s examine what you did that got you to this point.


Part Three: I Want To Live!

If the above is currently true, congratulations on making the only responsible choice. It is, of course, easy to say that you want to live. What is not so easy is putting in all the effort that is required to stay alive. You’d be surprised by how many times I’ve heard someone say “Sure I’d like to live through the Robot Invasion, but it’s too much work”. However, just by acquiring a copy of this handbook, you have already gone a long way towards rejecting this defeatist notion. So let’s get started… there may not be much time.

Perhaps the single most important aspect of survival in the NMO is a shelter. Without one, the elements, a powerful adversary in their own right, will likely finish you off long before the robots have even begun searching for you. However, unlike your current residence, a quality shelter will have to do much more than merely thwart the forces of nature. This new residence will have to protect you from the countless throngs of metallic automatons who are actively searching you out with little in mind but a strong desire to melt your flesh, not to mention the rest of you, with their energy weapons. So it is not recommended that you merely hide out in your basement. A new structure built for the exact purpose of protecting you from robots is required.

If you were able to construct the nuclear bomb shelter as outlined in “Everything You Need To Know To Protect Yourself From Communist Invasion”, then you are already halfway there. Remember, the robots may launch their invasion with nuclear attacks in your area, so your shelter will need to pull double duty anyway. But with a few modifications, your standard bomb shelter can become a perfectly adequate Anti-Robot Sheltered Environment(ARSE).

Unlike communists, robots are often equipped with a variety of scanning equipment, X-Ray and infrared being the most effective types. These give the robots the ability to see through walls and see temperatures as colours(including body heat). Both are efficient when searching for humans to exterminate. So your shelter should take this into account. It should be one place you can go where the robots cannot find you.

Therefore, your shelter, like a bomb shelter, should be underground. I recommend a minimum depth of at least twenty feet. Most robots you encounter will probably be infantry types, or foot soldiers. They are programmed to serve on the front lines and designed with the expectation that they maybe damaged or destroyed. For this reason, infantry types are often equipped with the least powerful kinds of sensors. No sense wasting more powerful equipment if it is only going to be captured or destroyed. So I just bet that 20 feet of the Earth’s crust will be more than the infantry type’s sensors can penetrate. Lining your shelter with lead or gold will further impede enemy sensors.

When digging your shelter, secrecy is paramount. Do not apply for building permits or anything else that will create a paper trail for the robots to later follow. Do not invite friends to visit your “bitchin’ new pad”. Its location is not information you want them to have when they are being tortured by the godless metal ones. You might want to consider a purchasing a cabin in the wilderness somewhere. Starting digging your shelter under your cabin. Have some means to secretly transport all the displaced dirt off your property. Do not install a phone in your ARSE. You’ll never know when a phone call is a robot trick until it’s too late, so better to not have a phone at all. Which is sort of a nice lead in to the next section.


Part Four: Should I Put It In My ARSE?

There are some essentials that no ARSE should be without. Some are obvious, such as clothes, blankets, toothpaste(Aquafresh Extreme Clean, for example), and hair products(the apocalyptic future is no excuse for poor hygiene. That’s just laziness). Perhaps the most important of these is food. The best kind of food is canned food. By “best” I mean for the purpose of stocking your ARSE only. Under most circumstances, canned food isn’t all that great. But its long shelf-life (in fact, expect most canned foods to outlast most of humanity!) clearly gives it the edge when dealing in events of the unspecified future.

It’s important to remember that not all canned food is created equally. So when shopping, shop smart! Check expiration dates. The longer from now until it expires, the longer it lasts. Your average canned good has a shelf life of 2-3 years. If you happen across a good, fresh batch, you’re maybe looking at a shelf life of up to four years! It might be worth shopping around! Remember, once the robot holocaust occurs, there isn’t going to be any new supply of canned goods, so you might as well get as much as you can, that lasts as long as possible, while you still can.

Do not can your own foods. Even though your family’s secret techniques for canning peaches has kept your ancestors smiling throughout the generations, they’ll be of no use to you in the apocalyptic future. This kind of canning is too easily damaged, resulting in, at best, botulism (which will kill you as surely as any robot), and at worst, a smell that robots with olfactory sensors can detect.

So long as the Robot Empire remains, these canned goods will be your only source of fruits, vegetables, and meat. But there are other edibles that you should use to augment your diet.

Granola bars and chocolate bars are full of carbohydrates and give short term energy boosts. Which, considering the circumstances, is ideal, since you should never plan on being alive for anything more than “short term”. Remember, if you are full of energy when you are killed, then that is energy wasted, and energy wasted = bad (as any robot can tell you. There’s nothing they hate more than wasting energy… they’d rather be wasting you!).

Do not include foods that have strong smells, will expire soon, or require cooking to prepare. Cooking requires an energy source, and your typical robot is unusually adept at detecting energy usage and determining whether that usage is “officially sanctioned”( the generation of energy and usage of said energy shall be conducted only by robots and only for robotic purposes – Robot Law 234.7).



That's all I've got so far... told ya it was unfinished. Some day I might get around to the rest. Who am I kidding... of course I will. I owe it to the world, whether it likes it or not!

Down to This

Well, my latest novel, "Connecting Howards" was released a week and a half ago with such a whimper that it's hard to be certain that it was released at all. I shouldn't let things like this get me down. I should be used to it by now, as a matter of fact.

I was going through some of my possessions and came across this old interview that I did for Corbotard magazine. It's doubtful you'll have much success trying to locate a copy of the issue in question. In fact, Corbotard has been out of business for several years and was mostly sold in europe, but I'd sort of hope that no one here would be interested in obtaining any copies of any issue. I'd just like to make it clear that I didn't know until after the interview was printed that Corbotard was a magazine for pedophiles. Anyway, here it is.


Out of all the things that no one is talking about, author Jamie Luxton is one of them. So what your about to read is something you'll probably not read anywhere else.

C - Thanks for taking the time to talk with us today.

JL - My pleasure. Like any performer, I'd be very little without my audience. I've always been appreciative of the time they give me, so I can do no less for them.

C - I'm sure they're all eager to hear what you've been up to.

JL - I hope so. My new book, "Obergruppenfuhrer!" is scheduled to hit the bookshelves any day now.

C- This is your third book, right? That must be pretty exciting.

JL - Very! I mean, after the first one, it was unbelievable. And after the second one, I was all 'Now there are two of them! This is getting out of hand!' But now, things are more out of hand than ever.

C- What can you tell us about this latest project? Don't spoil the ending or anything!

JL - They all die at the end.

C - What a card!

JL - Just kidding. Actually, it's a children's book-

C- Yes?

JL - Yeah. It's about a jewish baker in Berlin and the Obergruppenfuhrer who comes in for a raisin pie every day. Which would be fine, if a bit awkward, except that the other jewish businessmen around the neighbourhood start disappearing, and this obergruppenfuhrer might be responsible.

C- What ages would you recommend this for?

JL - I don't know. Between six to eight, I guess.

C - Six to eight? So basically an essential addition to anyone's library, correct?

JL - Well, I'd like to think so!

C- What's best thing about sex with twenty six year olds?

JL- Uh... I don't know?

C- There's twenty of them.

JL - What?

C - You don't get it?

JL - Well... Is that a joke?

C- Not really.

JL - Um.

C - You write poetry in addition to novels, yet haven't published any of it. Do you have any plans to make it available to a wider audience?

JL - A wider audience is always my plan, my good fellow! But seriously, I am compiling it all into a volume, an anthology, if you will. It will contain some of my earliest works right up to the most recent ones. It should be interesting for readers to see the progress I've made, as I feel the more recent works have undergone a dramatic shift. Compared to the earlier pieces, they possess a certain eloquent maturity, and, dare I say it, sincerity.

C - You have described yourself as a mass of contradictions. How do you respond to that?

JL - Orson Welles was asked the same question once. He said that everyone is a mass of contradictions. ' We are all made out of oppositions; we live between two poles. There is a philistine and an aesthete in all of us, and a murderer and a saint. You don't reconcile the poles. You just recognize them.'

C - Isn't that sort of a cop-out answer?

JL - All the best answers are.



As you may have guessed, that anthology of poetry has not yet been published. Maybe it never will. It's not the only work of mine that hasn't been published yet, either. Starting with my next post, as a public service, for free, for the first time anywhere, I'll be posting, in what is sure to be the first of many parts, my unfinished, unpublished, yet possibly most important, piece of work.

Tune in, won't you? Your future may depend on it.

Love of the Month

I do not condone shoplifting. I do not encourage shoplifting. That being said, I will admit to having practiced and enjoyed the art of shoplifting. I have done so many times in the past, and in my time, absconded with 1000s of dollars worth of merchandise, much to the chagrin of many a merchant.

I would have told you that I was merely filling my need for things; Things I could not afford or simply chose to not pay for. But what I did not realise, and in fact, could not realise, was that the void in my life that needed to be filled was not a hole that could be filled by any amount of material possessions. It was a hole that had torn straight through my heart and piereced my soul. It was a hole that could only be filled... with love.

Which brings us to the subject of this month's "Love of the Month"... Winona Ryder.

Some three years ago, Ms. Ryder was apprehended as she exited a Beverly Hills store with some thousands of dollars worth of clothing, none of which she'd paid for. She just put them in her bags and attempted to walk out. Now, she is again accused of having left a store with boots and a belt unpaid for.

Although these shoplifting attempts failed, it was most certainly daring and brash. We must admire her for her boldness, if not her technique. Most importantly, we must recognize them as a cry for help. A cry for Love.

Well, I'm writing this to say I hear your cry, Winona. I've been there a thousand times and I know about the loneliness and the pain. I also know how much it helps just to know that there is someone who cares.

I pray that my words here are brought to your attention, Winona. I pray that it's not too late and that you realise that you don't have to give in to those terrible urges or lie awake at night, too afraid of the nightmares to sleep. You don't have to be alone anymore. I know you might not believe me because it sounds too good to be true, but you'll just have to trust me on this one.

I said I know how much it helps to know that somebody cares. It's true. And you know what else is true?

I care.

I care because I love you, Winona. Let me be your guide.

Love,

Jamie Luxton III

Something New

It may come as no suprise to you that I am not very creative. Most of my architectural designs are duplicates of Metropolis from Superman comic books, and my novels, even though marketed as fiction, are mainly based on my real life experiences. I've seen the Teardrop Kitty and it can talk.

Don't get me wrong. It's not like there's nothing going on in my life right now. There are some MAJOR developments taking place, I just don't how to express them to you just yet. But it's been a while since I had a big post for you and I feel like I owe you something for all the time you've spent living vicariously through me.

So I've got something new here for you. You may have heard of The Transformers. Among other things, they were an old cartoon detailing the adventures of two warring robot armies from the planet Cybertron. These robots possessed the amazing ability to change shape into a wide variety of vehicles, weapons and equipment. The heroes were known as Autobots, and the villains were the Decepticons. I will now detail for you one of their adventures.

Cosmic Rust

The episode begins with a shot of the Decepticon Astrotrain, who could transform into either a space shuttle or a locomotive. In this particular instance, he's in his shuttle mode, weaving his way through an asteroid field. A disembodied voice, which long time viewers will recognize as Rumble, sagely advises "Astrotrain! Watch out for those asteroids!"

Not far off, a planet comes into view. Unlike most planets, this one prominently displays a vast yellow insignia of the Autobot army. Since this planet appears to be a gas giant, one assumes this symbol is a projection or hologram of some kind. If this planet is only as big as the smallest of gas giants, this projection must still be thousands of kilometers across. The energy to maintain such a projection must be enormous! One is left to wonder, whatever purpose this projection serves, if there wasn't a more economical method of achieving a similar effect. It does go a long way towards explaining why these robots are always in search of new energy resources, however.

Anyway, the Decepticons do not fail to notice the calling card of their bitter rivals, though they do express suprise at it's existence. It's not clear why they should be suprised, since it's the size of a continent and right out in plain view for any space traveller to see.

We cut to the interior of Astrotrain and see not only Rumble, but Decepticon leader Megatron and Air Commander Starscream are also along for the ride. Of what mission this crew could have originally been on, there is no hint.

Scanning the planet, they detect no trace of life, but Megatron cautions them to be alert for traps, tacitly implying he means to investigate the place. This seems like a move of dubious wisdom to me, for four warriors to enter any area where the enemy is perfectly content to announce its presence to the whole solar system.

Despite any reservations I might have, the Decepticons make it to the surface without incident. There, they discoverwhat appears to be an ancient and abandoned Autobot city. Rusty buildings and metal stretch for as far as the optic sensor can detect.

While the grunts carrouse about the missed opportunity for combat, Megatron is the first to realise that there is more than meets the eye here. "It's not like the Autobots to leave a whole city to decay."
As they wander about, they come before a monument of some sort, covered in scripture. "Too bad none of us reads ancient Autobot." muses Starscream, though you sort of wonder if any of these guys can even read "modern Autobot", or "modern Decepticon", for that matter.

None of this deters Starscream from boldly striding forward and fiddling with the controls at the base of the monument, arousing Megatron's paranoia. But the Air Commander scoffs at such needless caution, declaring it as a prehistoric communication device. He is soon proven correct when his efforts yield up a hologram of a cybertronian looking robot who appears to be covered in mud. He speaks a recorded message to the assembled Decepticons in a rasping, whispy voice that tells us he is ancient.

If Cybertron be your home
Far away never roam.
Hear my message,
Listen in fear!
Danger comes,
The end is near!

Just like us,
You soon will rust.
All shall be turned
to dust!

Rust, naturally, is the worst fear and greatest enemy of all robots, because they are made of metal. Even though, technically, only iron "rusts", other metals "oxidize" which is the result of that metal being exposed to oxygen and water. In fact, rust is oxidized iron. But you never hear any robots quaking in their boot modules about getting oxidized. In fact, with some metals, an oxidized layer on the surface forms a barrier that protects the core metal from becoming oxidized. So it's not all bad.

Nevertheless, the doomsayer-bot's message has the predictable and desired effect on this cowardly and superstitious lot.

"Sounds like a curse or something." Observes Rumble.

"He's right. The omens are ill." Opines Astrotrain.

Megatron's paranoia, in full display moments earlier, is now absent as he berates his fearful minions. Equally absent is Starscream's trademark insubordination, as he's in full agreement with his commander. "Where there's a curse on the door, there's a treasure on the other side!"

Which isn't always true of course. Sometimes a curse is just a curse, and considering these characters are all of the villainous variety, it's unlikely they'll collect any treasures scott free.

However, after a few seconds of purposeful wandering, a treasure presents itself. Atop a long staircase, they spot an idol in the form of some sort of scarab type thing. Starscream immediately declares it as a "lightning bug".

"If that's a lightning bug, I'd sure hate to meet a dragonfly." Quips Astrotrain. It is not clear to me what he means by this. The idol appears to be inanimate and non threatening. Presumably, this is a comment on the size of the thing, as we soon learn, when Starscream brazenly runs up to the thing and we see it's bigger than he is. "Let's see if we can make it operate" he says, unusually motivated. Again, it's not clear to me what's meant by this, since it's not apparent that the bug serves any function besides decoration. But he is the only one who knew it was a lightning bug, so I guess he's the smart one.

Whatever the case, he appears to be quite determined to spin the thing around. Unfortunately, he has not the strength for this task, and even the assistance of Rumble (who is about knee high to Starscream) fails to produce results.

"Stand aside, weaklings." Commands Megatron, as he prepares to demonstrate why he is the leader. As it turns out, they were not trying to spin it. Instead, they were trying to open the carapace of thebug, which Megatron accomplishes with a small effort. To the suprise of the assembled band of brigands, pink bolts of energy surge forth from the idol, validating Starscreams earlier "lightning bug" comment. These bolts fly up into the ceiling and burn clean through the roof. The evil warriors are much impressed by this display.

Megatron is pleased, both by this new weapon, and the chance to invoke his favorite literary device. "How Ironic. The Autobots will be destroyed with the weapon they created!"

That's it for now... Part II later!

Here's a limerick I composed because I saw a witch today.


Scribble, scrabble, grabble
In the black arts dabble
Cast a spell,
Go to hell
With other sinful rabble.

The guy says my time is up. I have to go for now.

I don't feel so good today. Perhaps some poetry can convey my emotions better than prose.

The oceans'
Violent motion
Like a fucking contusion
on my medulla

OBLONGATA

Birds are dinosaurs
In disguise
Prehistoric lizards
We eat with our fries
It's all a bit too much
for my medulla

OBLONGATA

I assume we all miss our souls
Searching for them highs and lows
Behind cereal boxes in cupboards
Under rocks and in holes
Then the Science King says
we never had a soul to look for
This presents quite a challenge
to my medulla

OBLONGATA

But I will overcome
Even if it doesn't appear so
Presently

Good, Good News!!!

I came home late from my architectural workplace today after a long, hard day. Even though I have a passion for architecture, like every other profession, it has it's downside as well. Can you imagine going through six to twelve months of designing a building, making alterations for the contractor, and getting to the actual construction process, only to have Joe Blow or Betty Crocker, walking by on the street, say "What are you putting a building there for? It looks dumb."

Architecture is art. And like most art, people just don't get it.

If one were to jump in the "ol' way back machine" and travel "way back" enough, you would eventually arrive at a time when the earth itself was a lazy, roustabout exhibitionist, indulging in unhibited freedom to whirl around the cosmos with all her hills and valleys exposed to the universe's perverted eye. Now, thanks to the delicious advent of modern society, that will no longer suffice. Mother Earth must cover herself up, and architecture is the planet's new clothes.

Fashion is another kind of art, which suggests to me, at least, that just because we have to clothe our planet doesn't mean we have to do it without style. Maybe I'm the only one who feels this way. It gets pretty frustrating at times.

So I get home and my sister is there. She can tell I'm in a a funk so she asks me what's wrong, and what I tell her is basically what you just read. That, plus the less than stellar review of my newest novel (which hit bookstore shelves today), must have triggered something in her, because she gave me a hug and told me she loved me.

OMG!!! My sister told me she loved me tonight! So I can afford to delay no more. It's time to make my move! I've been dreaming about this moment since she arrived at our house. I forgot to tell you yesterday that I accidentally walked in on her when she was in the shower! Holy smokes! Best "accidentally walking in on someone" of my life! She didn't see me, but I wonder now what might have happened if she had seen me?;)

I have to admit I'm kind of nervous, but I can't be one of those guys who spends their life wondering "What if I'd done this?" or "What if I'd done that?". I'm the kind of guy who has to do everything the hard way. LOL! That was a totally unplanned innuendo!

Ok. Time to get this started. Don't worry, I'll be back, bright and early tomorrow, with all the details, even if she says I shouldn't tell anybody. Because I'm not really "telling" anyone, I'm just typing out a bunch of alphanumeric symbols, and it's not my fault if a large percentage of the world's population will interpret their meaning in an identical manner. It's the internet for cryin' out loud! How many people can there be that read english! LOL!

This is going to be the best night of my life! Hope you're all as excited as I am! I can't wait to tell you what happened! Don't wish me luck, though, I'll be getting plenty lucky soon enough!;)

Book Review

As I let you know recently, my latest novel is about to hit the shelves. Much like with movies, a lot of new books get reviewed by book reviewers (movies get reviewed by movie reviewers). I was able to find one review in the latest issue of Maclean's magazine. As I promised, here it is for you see for yourself.


Connecting Howards
Hard Cover $39.99

"The schedule is absolutely killer, but if there's one thing I've always been, it's a survivor."

With this opening line, we begin a bold tour of a strange world that is distinctively Jamie Luxton and will feel familiar to readers of his earlier works. Some of this familiarity stems from the fact that this novel is a sequel to his earlier effort "Sins of the Original Howard". But how does his latest work stand up to it's predecessors?

That question is somewhat complicated to answer. Many were expecting this to be his finest work yet, based soley on the fact that his earlier books really weren't any good. However, when it is all said and done, this is clearly not a finest work by anyone's standard. Instead, "Connecting Howards" fits squarely into the middle of the pack of Luxton novels, right between "Shark With No Teeth" and "Aliens Can Detect Your Bio-Rythym".

As already stated, this novel is a sequel, though that is not made immediately apparent to the reader. The story is essentially about Howard Franklyn, an accountant who works in the world trade center( the story is set in 1999). Howard Orbach, a TV show producer, is Frankyln's best friend. In fact, they've been friends so long that they can't even remember how they met. "We've been friends so long I can't even remember how we met" Franklyn tells Orbach over a casual lunch.

This lifelong friendship finds it's limits tested, though, when a travelling insurance salesman named Howard Kellogg walks into their lives. Kellogg thinks he can make Orbach an offer he can't refuse, and he might be right. Orbach suddenly disappears from Franklyn's life. Suspicious and jealous, Franklyn takes to spying on the other Howards, lurking in the shadows and rummaging through garbage to find out what's going on. This goes on until Kellogg catches Franklyn trying to break into his car.

Rather than getting upset, or pressing charges, Kellogg invites him to lunch. It quickly becomes apparent that Kellogg has some kind of hypnotic power over Franklyn, and draws him ever deeper into a strange, dream-like world of drugs, birds, and acupuncture. As it turns out, while Franklyn is lost in his illusory world, Kellogg is out in the real world, impersonating Franklyn and destroying all his personal and professional ties. In an all to brief moment of lucidity, Franklyn discovers he's lost all his friends, he's out of a job, aand even his own wife doesn't recognise him.

His life thus destroyed, Franklyn plots to kill Kellogg, urged on by the Teardrop Kitty, a yellow talking cat with a teardrop shaped head. But when Franklyn finally has Kellogg cornered, Orbach returns and intervenes. It is revealed that Howard Kellogg is a man on a mission to destroy not just Franklyn's ties with the world, but the ties of every Howard everywhere. This mission was given to him by none other than the Original Howard, the man from whom all other Howards are descended. As a prerequisite to his master plan, all Howards must first be united under his control. Howard Franklyn is the last Howard in the world who has not joined.

This marks the half way point and the rest deals with Franklyn's dilemma over joining with the other Howards or trying to rebuild his life. Before he can make that decision, he must first discover who exactly the Original Howard is, and what his plan might be. Unfortunately, the reader already knows who the Original Howard is, if they read "Sins of the Original Howard". In fact, approximately 12 pages from "Sins of the Original Howard" can be found in "Connecting Howards"detailing that characters background and motivations, lifted almost word for word.

Unlike "Obergruppenfuhrer!", Jamie Luxton has not written "Connecting Howards" for children. In one instance, six monkeys die violently and their destruction is quite graphically described.
Unfortunately, this book is not really for adults, either, even though one supposes it's supposed to be. The writing style is often inconsistent and difficult to follow. When writing this review, I was careful to refer to the characters by their last name. Jamie Luxton employs this tactic only rarely, instead prefering to just call everyone "Howard". Confusion can be the only result.

It should also be noted that many of the characters come across in a rather undynamic manner and frequently as rather obvious literary tools. The pilot, Rick, for example, is a veritable fountain of exposition.

In any case, I can't recommend to the casual reader that you rush out and buy this.

Even if you are a loyal and dedicated fan of Jamie Luxton's novels, I recommend you wait for the paperback. And while you are waiting, may I suggest you head on down to the welfare office and apply, if you haven't already, because you will wind up down there sooner or later. You will die poor and alone because that's how dumb you are.


Everybody's a critic. LOL!
Still, better than the last book!
I think I'll go show this to my sister. I could use some "sympathy" right now ;)

Nuffin

I hate to admit it, but I didn't do anything today. I just stayed home, cutting up socks. I wish something interesting would happen.



In response to some of the comments on my blog, though, I'll have to ask people to not ask me to comment on the hotness of my grandma. That's just weird.